No excuses for me

Today we woke up early and headed downtown for my second expansion. Another 90 cc was added to my right expander for a total of 360 cc. I have 670 cc in the left (ish, radiation may have caused me to lose some) so around 300 cc more if I want to even out to that size.  It’s a bit more uncomfortable than last week but not unbearable. This expander is also off towards the side a bit so it isn’t centered. That’ll be fixed at reconstruction but it’s awkward for my arm in the meantime. I’ll get used to it over time though.

Next, I headed to treatment for my Herceptin infusion.  I was a bit sad that I didn’t have Love Jars to deliver this time but I did bring a sweet treat for the nurses again. My infusion was over 90 minutes instead of 30 today (which really means about 2 1/2 hours in the chair), in the hopes of helping with the headaches I’ve been getting afterwards. My BP was oddly low but the nurse advised me that it could be because I hadn’t drank enough water yet.

Every treatment I receive a sheet of paper that has all upcoming appointments listed on it. When I first started this journey last August, the paper was 2 1/2 pages long and didn’t even go past 2 months. Today, my paper wasn’t even a full page and listed all of the treatments that I have remaining. Every. Last. One. I wasn’t sure it if I had 4 or 5 after today because it depends on what they consider a year later. Is the week before my one year anniversary of starting chemo sufficient or do I need to pass the year mark? I learned today that I need to pass the year mark, so 5 more and I am DONE! Seeing it on paper makes it a bit more real. September 9th will be here before I know it!

I’m hopeful that the headaches won’t be too unbearable this weekend but time will tell. I just completed my run for the day, thanks to the energy an afternoon nap provided. Herceptin tends to exhaust me but I’m not allowing that to be an excuse not to excercise. My dear husband is cooking dinner so I am off to rest, snuggle and eat.

Happy Friday, friends! Enjoy your loved ones tonight and always.

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So I ran today.

…and it sucked. Well, actually I sucked at running. But I did it.  And I’m going to continue doing it.

Because I’m sick of making excuses.

Because after cancer, I’m jiggling in all the wrong places.

Because the chemo weight isn’t going to lose itself.

Because my 15 year old cross country running self would kick my toosh if she knew how bad of a runner I have become.

Because I spend the majority of my day sitting inside.

Because I am sick of losing all of these fitbit challenges and there’s only so many times I can walk in circles.

Because despite the heat, it’s gorgeous outside.

Because fresh air will do me some good.

Because it clears my head and allows me to get lost in my thoughts without distraction.

Because I spent a significant portion of my life being sedentary.

Because my clothes are too tight for comfort.

Because after reconstruction, I want to go clothes shopping and feel good when trying on clothes.

Because the 30 minutes are going to pass anyway.

Because I probably spend 30 minutes a day on the Internet so I really have no excuse for not finding the time.

Because 10000 steps a day shouldn’t be so difficult.

Because I want to live a long, healthy life and exercise is essential to that.

Because my baby sister and I have been talking about running together for years and I always find an excuse not to out of fear of failure.  When I visit her in July, I want to ask her to go for a run and feel confident that I can do it.

Because despite how hard today was, by this time next week I’ll be significantly better.  So imagine what 6 weeks time will bring.