Wednesday blessings

It’s been a while, friends and I’m sorry for the disappearing act! What better way to get back into the swing of things than to share some blessings?!

1.  My amazing support system of family and friends – they continue to amaze and inspire me daily!
2.  Vacation – which is approaching quickly and so exciting because we celebrate the love between my baby sister and her soon to be husband!!!
3.  Laughter – my sweet boy loves to giggle and there is no better sound in the world!

Tell me your blessings, friends! Let’s make this Wednesday wonderful!

Tuesday blessings!

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I love having fresh cut flowers in my home. There is something so wonderful about smelling the sweet aroma and seeing the bright colors that instantly fill me with happiness!  Someday I hope to have a garden that I can pick from regularly, rather than purchasing. For now though, I’ll enjoy them anyway I can!

Jacob woke up with a smile today and our morning routine was relatively stress-free, which is awesome for an early Tuesday that’s trying to be Monday morning.

Speaking of, it’s a short work week – yay! Though there’s lots to accomplish this week, it’s already Tuesday – wahoo!

What’s making you smile this morning? Tell me your blessings!

Happy Monday!

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Happy Monday friends! It’s a fresh day, a fresh week, a fresh month, a fresh start – yay!

Today’s blessings:
1. Somehow we ALL got out of the house on time today!  🕛
2. It’s the start of a new routine including back to work for me and I am excited to get back into the swing of things. I am also grateful for the time I have had to heal, mentally and physically.  👓📚
3.  I am grateful for my sweet husband, who continues to care for us day in and day out. Every day I think my heart can’t fill with anymore love for him…and yet it does.  💗

A shape up!

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In anticipation of the week ahead, I decided it was time to tame the craziness on my head a bit.  My hair is (thankfully!) growing in pretty quick and it needed a bit of a touch up.  I don’t have enough hair for a full on cut and style but I was excited, and a bit nervous, to have my hair trimmed up so it looks purposefully short.

We ventured to a local shop that Joe goes to regularly. The owner came in just for us (closed Sundays normally).  With Joe watching and Jacob playing around the chairs, the buzzer was brought up to head. It’s an odd feeling, having the buzzer so close to your ears that you can feel them vibrate. It kind of makes my ears itch. Anyway, a few minutes of edging mixed with laughter and some gel and I have a no ‘do!

It’s quite an incredible feeling, to have come so far that I had enough hair for a little style today. This moment seemed so far away for so long.  Oh, the little things in life…how good they feel.

Serendipitous encounters

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I continue to be amazed by the serendipitous encounters in my life.

I remember, over a decade ago, finding moments like this and being happy about them. Now these moments seem to find me and I can’t help but be excited. I continue to meet the most incredible people, stumble upon perfect timing and wind up in the right place.

I feel like the path ahead is unknown and yet clear, simply because I have faith that it’s the one that I am supposed to be on.

The true balancing act

Sometimes I write an entire post, save it and leave it on my computer. It sits there, untouched until I happen to come across it in my search of something. Today, this happened. I found a post that I called The balancing act. This post was written just two months ago and as I read it, I realized that my thoughts have already shifted ever-so-slightly from the way I felt when I first wrote it. Yes, I still feel a slight pang or a slight worry every time we talk of the future. But with each passing day, despite still undergoing treatment, I feel a little less afraid and a little more secure. It feels good to know that time does actually heal the mind along with the body. No, the future is still not guaranteed, but I am now looking forward to it as if it were, and yet still enjoying the everyday moments in life. That, for me, is the true balancing act.

Here is my prior post, written February 27th:

I read a quote on a blog I follow the other day. It said that writers often write about what they need to hear (sorry, despite searching I can’t locate the post that I read this in). Seems obvious, right? Well, I reread it a few times and it left me thinking quite a bit. This blog began as a way to share my story and yet somehow it also transitioned into a way for me to talk to myself too. So today, I’m going to do just that. I’m going to write about something that is on my mind regularly but that I don’t speak about often. But, it’s something that I need to hear and maybe, just maybe, someone else does too.

I’ve mentioned before that if cancer teaches you nothing is, it is that life is short. Each day is a blessing and needs to be embraced like a long lost friend. I am grateful for the life that I am blessed to have and the family and friends that share it with me.

Have I beaten cancer? – YES!

Is cancer gone from my life forever? …yes?

I tend to be the type of person who overthinks and overanalyzes and questions each decision that I make because I want to ensure that I am truly making the best decision. Now, I have certainly had my fair share of split decisions and regrets but that has taught me to take my time and think through the decision before making it. I weigh the pros and cons of each, sometimes to exhaustion, and decide which choice is the right one. Cancer adds a layer of complexity to my decision making. A layer that I hate having and yet a voice in my head never lets me forget to consider.

This voice often asks me, will you be here?

It’s a question that has no answer and frankly, if it did, I don’t know that I would want to know it. But it’s there. The ever lingering question that has no purpose but to make my heart feel a slight pang and my breath catch a little.

See, the think about this question, is that it has always been there. Every day and every decision that we make, we rely heavily on the fact that tomorrow will be there and the day after that will be too. But it isn’t guaranteed and I probably should have been paying more attention to that fact long before cancer came knocking.

So every decision that I make, big or small, is a balancing act. I weigh my options and once I’ve mostly made up my mind, the little voice pipes up and asks will you be here? This causes my heart rate to rise slightly and break just a little. Then I think rationally through the question. If the answer is no, would I be putting my family in a poor predicament? If the answer is yes, will we be able to enjoy it?

So I have a question

Yesterday after treatment and an appointment, I stopped into a salon and had my eyebrows done. This is something that I normally would have considered inconvenient, especially considering how tired I was, but I was excited. It is the first time that I have needed to have my eyebrows touched up since beginning treatment last August. That means that I have enough hair growing to require it – yay!

While I was there, I asked about eventually getting my hair cut. I’m not quite ready to cut it but I was curious about the length and how long to wait before having it done. It was nice to talk about the future potential hair cut that I will receive. I may need to start pinning some styles on pinterest!

So today, as I sit here receiving my Herceptin dose, I glanced at Joe. He recently cut his hair and, dare I say, I think my hair is almost longer than his. Mine isn’t styled today (or ever, ha!) but I think I might have him beaten in length.

So, friends, what do you think? Whose hair is longer?!

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Just Breathe

“This song is for my wife’s best friend, as she battles breast cancer…” he said, as the band started to play.

The music traveled high up to the seats they occupied.  The light beat and guitar magic started to intensify as it filled the open room.

She glanced to her left and smiled, remembering whether or not to choose this as their wedding song. They had decided on a different song but this one always held a place close to her heart.

His smile was wide and she could feel the love through his eyes.

🎵 “Stay with me…
Oh, let’s just breathe” 🎵

He takes her hand and stands, walking away from their seats to the stairs. She follows him up a few steps, to the open area behind their section. There is no one there, just the arena around them and the music that fills the room.

🎵 “Did I say that I need you
Did I say that I want you
Oh if I didn’t I’m a fool you see
No one knows this more than me” 🎵

He takes her hands and pulls her close. Wrapping his arms around her, they begin to dance. She leans into him and inhales deeply, breathing in his sweet scent. They move to the beat of the music, spinning slowly as the world around them falls away.

🎵 “As I come clean
I wonder everyday, as I look upon your face, uh-huh
Everything you gave
And nothing you would take, oh no” 🎵

He reaches for her hand again and she follows his lead as he twirls her.  She smiles wide, feeling a childlike sense of freedom, something she didn’t know she needed to feel. He pulls her in again and hugs her tight, his arms wrapped around her like they will never let go.

🎵  “Nothing you would take
Everything you gave
Hold me til I die
Meet you on the other side…”  🎵

The music begins to soften and fade away.  As the next song begins to play, they continue to dance, unaware of the world around them.

This year

Growing up, I LOVED my birthday. The New Year would start and I’d begin my countdown. When March rolled around, my countdown became more serious and I let just about everyone that I came in contact with know how many days it was until my birthday. Sometimes, I’d even jokingly begin the countdown again once my birthday ended.

It was always an exciting day. Easter usually fell around my birthday and my parents would treat me to an Easter bunny ice cream cake and my Dad would surprise me with a meal worthy of a 5-star restaurant menu. Some years, it’d snow and I’d have the day off from school and other years the flowers were already blooming with the early spring.

Since living in Florida, I would typically take the day off from work and head to the beach or Disney to enjoy the day with my husband – and more recently, little man too. It was a day that I always looked forward to because it reminded me of how loved I am.

In recent years, I have stopped my regular countdown and sometimes didn’t even realize how quickly my birthday was approaching until someone asked me about it. I would still take the day off and do something fun but the countdown was no longer a part of it. I started to feel older and older as the years flew by and I was surprised at how quickly time was passing.

This year is different. Although I didn’t count the days leading up to my birthday, I still felt the excitement of it. This year, I feel so incredibly blessed to be here and to be cancer free and able to celebrate my birthday with the ones that I love.

I mean, how incredible is a birthday? It’s a reminder of the day that you came into this world, of all that you have accomplished in the years you’ve spent on this earth and a new start to the year ahead. It’s a true blessing and a day to be thankful for all that you have in this life. What’s not to love?