Keep spreading…

During my appointment last week, my blood was drawn and my tumor markers were taken.  They typically take a few days and I looked online for the results this past Saturday.  They are elevated, above the normal range.  For me, this has been an indicator of progression.  When they were up previously, it took a few cycles of Xeloda for them to go back down to the normal range.  I watched them decline a bit each time until they were normal.  I recently took a break from Xeloda of almost a month from mid-October to early November.  My hope is that my tumor markers are actually on the decline again, assuming they rose during the break, and that restarting Xeloda is helping to bring them back down.  This is my second week of my second cycle since restarting.

Is this update concerning?  Yes.  Is it scary?  Of course.  Do I wonder what this means?  Absolutely.

But…

There is nothing I can do for now.  I had obviously hoped that I would have a break, which I may still, but I also may not.  I have planned scans next week and blood work, including my tumor markers, the following week.  So there is quite literally nothing that I can do right now.  I am still looking into alternative options (essential oils, detoxing and looking into a doctor that specializes in alternative treatments), while I also know that there are clinical trials and standard treatment options available to me.

So, what does all this mean?  Well for now…nothing.  I saw the results, I feel the same physically and I already have a path forward to find out whether or not there is progression.

Well actually, I can tell you what this means for me.  It means that I keep living my life.  I keep working, I keep decorating for the holidays, I keep shopping and planning out gifts, I keep making plans, I keep loving on my family and friends, I keep snuggling my sweet boys and above all…I keep spreading the love.

Yes, life is stressful.  Yes, there is always fear of the future.  But I am continuously shown love from my family and friends.  I am so incredibly blessed.

And that, my friends, is what matters.  Spreading that love, accepting that joy and embracing all that each and every day has to offer.  That is what makes this life so magical, so wonderful.

Keep on spreading that love, my friends.  Every bit of it matters…promise.

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