I believe in miracles…

Do you believe in Miracles? Those astounding, unbelievable, unexplainable, absolutely incredible, dumbfounding, completely bewildering, shocking moments? Those events that you cannot explain in any way and that seem impossible?

Tonight, we are praying for one.

A miracle, by definition from dictionary.com, is “an effect or extraordinary event in the physical world that surpasses all known human or natural powers and is ascribed to a supernatural cause”.

I know that I cannot change the results of my biopsy. My skin is what it is. And it is extremely unlikely for it to be anything but cancer. And I know that. I accepted that, weeks ago. I am moving forward and making plans and phone calls based on the fact that I have skin progression.

But.

My tumor markers were perfect when last taken two weeks ago. I have no internal progression as of Tuesday. Part of the area in question is on my prior radiation area, which avoided cancer before. So…why? I can’t help but let my mind wander to the impossible…the improbable. What if?

What if it isn’t cancer? What if it’s just a skin issue because of everything that I have been through? What if it’s part of my detox? What if…it’s just a miracle?

The waiting is the hard part. Like I said, I cannot change the results. I can just change my mindset. And tonight, I am praying that my phone call tomorrow (hopefully) will be that of inexplicable awe. I hope to hear the words “negative” and “not cancer”. I would even take a swear word or two that promotes the lack of cancer.

It is what it is and we will deal with whatever news comes our way. But I cannot help but hope and pray for a miracle tonight.

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