I didn’t nap today. I wanted to. I’m tired. But I couldn’t. Instead I cried. A lot. It’s been a while since I’ve cried and it must have been building up within my system because I couldn’t control it or contain it. The tears fell and they kept on falling. Even through my words, I couldn’t hold the tears back. I cried for a while, actually. Sometimes it seems like there are a lot of bad things happening all at once and it’s hard to see the light through it all. I think that’s part of what made me cry so hard. It was like one frustrating thing after another happened and I couldn’t see the point or the purpose in any of it.
Then the tears stopped. And I could see just a little more clearly. Yes, my eyes were red and puffy and I needed a few tissues. But it occurred to me that perhaps all that negativity is, quite literally, the point. What if all of those bad things are happening because of a change that needs to occur?
The details don’t matter but some of these bad things have been happening repeatedly. I keep trying to assume innocence and give the benefit of the doubt. Maybe I’m avoiding conflict but I like to think that I’m the type of person lately that assumes there is a good or valid reason behind certain actions. But there comes a point when we have to say enough is enough.
So…change. I’ve decided it’s needed. I’m not entirely sure what that looks like just yet and honestly, the options are a little scary. But that’s the point, isn’t it? To get out of your comfort zone and start living life differently? Why yes, I do think that is the point. And that’s what I plan to do. It won’t be easy and it won’t be something that I’ve done or experienced before but it will be worth it. All change that you create should be, right?