Yesterday I went to work. I know, I know, it’s a lot on my plate. But the sense of “normalcy” and routine is good for me. It was a nice day, filled with laughter. At the end of the day, I made phone calls and did some running around for medical records. My level of frustration spiked as I received what I would refer to as the “run around” regarding the beginning of radiation treatment. I completely understand protocols and controls and for the most part, I have let them run their courses as needed. This seems to be a simple logistical error that is causing me stress. Long story short, I have not yet begun radiation therapy and I am awaiting the start date (it’s not the doctor). To say that I am anxious to begin this treatment would be an understatement. I am glad for the systemical chemo pills to work their magic but I will rest easier knowing the pain of radiation will prevail.
That being said, I went to bed frustrated. It’s not something that I do often and I felt a lot of defeat. There were tears cried and frankly, I am mad at myself for allowing it. The day was lost on my moments of frustration.
But today is a new day.
I’m up early, blaming the steroids, and I’m reflecting on how blessed I am. There is a reason and a plan in place for me. Although radiation is not happening on my time, it is happening on the time it is supposed to and there is quite literally nothing else that I can do at this point. I simply need to let go and let God. No, I am not giving up and I’ll make whatever calls that are needed for continued progress. But I am going to trust and have faith that there is a reason and a way that this is happening, even if I don’t see it just yet.
So I say again. Today is a new day. It is a fresh start. A new beginning. The world as we want to see it. It is the start of something new and exciting. A day of acceptance, joy and laughter. It is a day that I will love and a day that I will fill with happiness. Because this day is mine. It is mine to enjoy and mine to hold dear. It is mine to embrace proudly and triumphantly. It is a new day indeed.
Spread the love, friends. Make someone smile today! 💋