As my surgery quickly approaches, the reality of what is about to happen is sinking in. I am confident in my decision and feel that it is the right thing to do for me and my body. I am as ready as I am going to be. My house is clean, the laundry is almost done, the insurance calls are mostly done…now it’s time to wait.
Waiting is hard. Every snuggle, every hug, every time I pick up my sweet boy, a small part of me hurts for all of the weeks that I won’t be able to do just that. Each time I wash a dish or toss clothes in the washer, I feel bad that I won’t be able to help around the house while recovering. It’s hard to think about just resting during recovery and not being able to contribute to the every day activities in our home.
I worry about the emotional impact surgery will have on me. It’s hard to know exactly how I will feel when I wake up.
Then I remind myself that I am doing this so that I can continue to live a long, healthy and cancer free life. It will be a long few days but my life after will be longer. And that’s what’s important.
The next few days will be filled with family time. Snuggles, hugs, maybe a few belly laughs and beach…a little time together to soothe the soul before this next phase. Here’s to a great weekend, everyone!