A larger version of myself

Four years ago, when my little sister traveled to Florida to participate in the first ever Brown-Hall-Rivers- Thanksgiving-Extravaganza, Joe & I learned that Rachel makes the best fried chicken and mac-n-cheese. Not having ever tried hers, she offered to make it for us. Whoa, it sure was amazing!! With her visiting again, I asked her ahead of time if she would make it for us while here. She gladly agreed – yay!

When first diagnosed, I had a vision of pants falling off of my hips and sunken eyes…basically a scary, sickly version of myself. A version that screamed – I have cancer! The version of myself that I wasn’t expecting, was the one that has a hard time buttoning her pants. I did not anticipate the weight gain.

I figure there are at least two reasons behind this.

  1. It’s no secret that treatment makes me much less mobile than I normally am, which is why one of my goals for this year is to be more active. Treatment is exhausting, especially the two weeks following. As my body recovers, I gain more energy each day but I still find myself exhausted at the end of the day. It’s challenging to find a balance between the things that I want to do and the things I have the energy to do.
  2. I think we all know how much I love food. The 7 – 10 days after treatment, it’s hard to eat. I am so hungry and yet it’s hard to enjoy food because of the food aversions and metallic taste. And why not make up for that deliciousness in between treatments by overcompensating? I literally dream about which foods I want to enjoy once my taste buds are back – and then I indulge in all of that fabulous food the moment that I can!

I am sure there are other factors, such as my body focusing on other (more important) tasks like killing this horrible disease. But either way, I am continuing to find a balance between enjoying food, moving regularly and not exhausting myself in the process. Plus, I don’t want to invest in a new wardrobe to accommodate an expanding waist line.

All that being said….my sister made her famous food tonight for dinner and let’s just say, I might need to rely on the old pregnancy trick of using a rubber band to expand your pants slightly. The chicken was oven-fried and I walked my mile today so that counts, right?

Oh, and Mom’s cooking tomorrow….mmm…

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