Better late than never, right? Treatment #4 is DONE! It feels super awesome to see the progress and have only 2 remaining aggressive treatments. So. Close.
I’m beginning to feel better today, though still quite tired. The fatigue hit a lot harder this time around and I tire easily when moving around. But I’m getting through it and that’s what matters.
I saw my oncologist today, as I do every week. I expressed concern that the tumor and my lymph nodes don’t appear to be shrinking lately. He examined them both and agreed, though he also doesn’t feel like it is growing, which is good news. While it is not typical that the tumor would stop shrinking with the treatment that I am undergoing, we don’t know what is happening inside the tumor. It’s possible that there is a mass of dead cells hanging out in there, waiting for surgery to remove them. I’m disappointed that I can’t feel the progress being made like I did in the beginning but I am confident that my body is reacting the way it needs to. I also feel, as my oncologist does, that I need to continue on the course of treatment that we are on currently.
So. Though this isn’t the greatest of news that I have to share, I will not let it deter my faith that I will beat this horrible disease. I took a moment in the car ride home to dwell in my anger at the situation and now I’m done. I won’t let it bring me down and I won’t waste my energy worrying about it.
Because today I ate a cupcake for breakfast that didn’t taste like metal.
Because today I picked out little man’s school pictures – and his shirt wasn’t dirty!
Because my husband is running out to grab me a strawberry milkshake.
Because tonight I will catch up with a dear friend when she brings dinner for my family.
Because I am grateful for today, and every day.
Because I am doing the very best that I can and that’s all there is to it.