Learning limits

I’ve been struggling with how to express my thoughts these last few days.  I haven’t been feeling quite like my normal self and the reality of cancer has been hitting me pretty hard.  On top of the normal craziness of life, I’m exhausted most days.

At my weekly oncologist appointment today, my doctor reiterated that the tiredness will only get worse before it gets better and that I need to be conscious of how active I am and allowing myself time to rest.  After my appointment, I started reflecting on the last few days.  This weekend was, what I would consider, “normal”.  I had a few activities outside of the house and returned in the early evening both days. I was tired but nothing more than usual. Before bed on Sunday, the reality of just how exhausted I was hit me hard.

Going through treatment creates a unique perspective on free time.  There is a week or two after treatment where I feel horrible and can’t do much of anything. When I am feeling better, I try to squeeze in enjoyment at every possible moment in the day. I want to brace every second that I feel good.

I am learning that I need to know my limits.  There is no more normal for me, in the old sense. I need to embrace my new normal and remember to take it easy.  This should help with my mindset too, in ensuring the tiredness doesn’t impact my overall wellness and positivity.

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