Tonight is the night

I’ve been contemplating when to shave my head for a while now. The doctor told me at 2 weeks, my hair would begin to come out so it was only a matter of time. This week when I was working, I could feel the hairs fall individually and land on my shoulders. I began to see them land on my desk and my keyboard. The shower proved challenging because my hair was thinning in my hands as I lathered it and combing it seemed to be a game of how many hairs I could gather at a time. It isn’t coming out in the patches or chunks that were described to me but that is only a matter of time.

I didn’t realize how anxious this would make me. I knew it was coming, I have prepared myself with hats and scarves but seeing the hair fall so easily makes me anxious for the moment it comes out in bunches. So, it’s time.

I wore a scarf on my head today. This was partially because of the fear that it would fall out in a large amount and partially to keep the single hairs rounded up in side of it, rather than scattering them everywhere I went. I also wanted little man to see me with the scarf today so it doesn’t frighten him when my hair is gone.

At first, I planned to go to a barber, have it shaved and move on. When I shared with a few people that I was planning to shave it this weekend, I was asked if my husband would do it. My initial thought was no. He had offered to shave it but I thought it might be harder to have him do it than to go somewhere with people that I don’t know. The more I thought about it, I realized that I do want my husband to shave it. I want that for a few reasons. First, because he loves me and will take care in doing it. Second, we can do it in our home and at our own pace. We should have some fun with it, right? Lastly, but certainly not least, I think it might help him too.

So, tonight is the night. I’m off to have a glass of wine in preparation. Pictures to follow tomorrow!

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4 thoughts on “Tonight is the night

  1. Hi there. I was diagnosed with breast cancer this past January, had a couple of surgeries in April and May, and had my first chemo round on July 3. Almost like clockwork, my hair started coming out in clumps on the 14th day after that treatment. I had already done some prep work by cutting my shoulder length hair off in June. Once it started to come out as you are describing, I cut it really short and wore it like that until it was so thin that I was ready to buzz it – something I did by myself one morning. It was actually less traumatic for me than having the big clumps come out. I have now finished my 4th round, and I have little white hairs growing all over my head.

    I recently turned my blog of 8 years to speak specifically to breast cancer. Today I posted my 7 top Chemo Hacks that I am using to help with some of the side effects. Maybe you’ll find them helpful.

    Best luck to you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Grace! Thank you for sharing your experience. I am excited to hear that hair grows back so quickly. I do feel a sense of relief now that it is gone and I don’t need to worry about the “when” anymore. I will check out your blog too! I wish you the best of luck also!!

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