Today has me thinking about purpose. After deciding that nursing school wasn’t for me, I had a moment of panic because I didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up. That panic quickly faded when I remembered who I am.
I am a writer. I love to write. I find it to be an outlet, a way to organize my thoughts. It’s an opportunity to express myself in a way that I can’t verbally; a way to take a deep look into myself and let a little of me out into the world.
After graduating from college, I stopped writing. I’m not entirely sure why. At first I needed a year off – a break from the stress of working full time and going to school. That year passed quickly and I committed to myself that I would start writing the following year and start fresh. That year quickly passed, as did several others. I had so many excuses not to write.
I filled my time with books. Lots and lots and lots of books. One of my dear friends and I even shared our love for books in our own little book club, where we would read along together and discuss over wine and laughter.
In the back of my head, and in every story I read, I yearned to start writing again. I still found excuses. I don’t have anything to say. I have too much to say. I don’t know how to start. What if nobody likes what I write?
Everything about it was daunting. And yet everything inside of me told me that it was what I needed to do.
The day that I was diagnosed, when we returned home and the news settled in a bit more, I looked at my husband.
“Not to make light of this, but if there was ever a silver lining to be seen…I’m going to write. About this. About everything.” I don’t think he could have been happier to hear that.
I felt the same way. And so it began.
So, I ask you today, what is your purpose? What is on your mind or in your soul that you yearn to do and just need to take that step?