Having a 1 year old, my husband and I are often asked when we are having another child. We brush the question off with jokes about being “too tired” or that daycare is “too expensive” but we have truly been on the fence about it. We are so grateful for the sweet little man that we have been blessed with and we are happy with our family as it is now. The thought of another child has been pushed aside and filed away to worry about later.
One of the decisions we have had to make over the last week was whether or not we want more children in the future. Having to make this decision so quickly was not easy. It came with a lot of tears, a lot of debate and a few glasses of wine.
Our options were to freeze eggs, freeze embryos or take a drug that will shut down my ovaries to prevent as much damage as possible while I undergo chemotherapy. How does one make a decision like that?
As we sat in the doctor’s office and discussed our options, they laid out the timeframe for us. I must be cancer free for 5 years before attempted to carry a child again. My chemotherapy plan goes through September 2016. It would be at least 6 years.
It takes approximately 10 days to harvest eggs; sometimes more and sometimes less. I would need to start the medication immediately, which needed to be given multiple times a day, and would eventually need to have surgery to harvest the eggs. I had 11 days before having my port put in and 13 days before starting chemotherapy.
“What happens if I need more than 10 days?” I asked the nurse, her eyes wide.
“Most often, people push out their chemotherapy.” I started to cry.
It’s not enough time.
Could I do it? Yes. Do people make this choice every day? I’m sure. Is it worth the risk of pushing out my chemotherapy? No.
There were a lot of tears. Tears for the decision that needed to be made when it shouldn’t have to be. Tears for a choice that I didn’t want to make. Tears for the little boy that I call my son.
I believe everything happens for a reason. I have always believed in that. I am so incredibly blessed to have an amazing son who is healthy and happy and full of energy and life. Our family of three is complete.